Tits the way it is

Men, if you glance at a woman's boobs while you're in the middle of a conversation with her, she will notice.

Sometimes I think men believe they have super powers. As boys, they obviously idolized Superman, Spiderman, and many other comic heroes I can't name off the top of my head. They may not be able to fly like Superman, or kiss a woman upside down like Spiderman, but damn it, they do have the REM power down.

Rapid Eye Movement.

And I'm not talking about the REM cycle of sleep.

I'm talking about grown-ass men, putting on an imaginary cape and black mask, thinking they can get away with checking out a woman's tits if they just glance down quick enough.

Rapid Eye Movement. Apparently, women cannot detect this super power. Apparently, women don't notice when eye-contact breaks, the eyes drop to the bust line, and within a mili-second return to the aforementioned eye-contact. Do I notice you greedily glancing at my boobs? No... of course not... your eye movement is much to rapid, you big, strong man. Let me just sit here and giggle with my manicured, acrylic nails in front of my mouth, batting my eyes. My goodness! Don't you have an enormous...

bicep.

The funny thing is that it happens EVERYWHERE. And it's not because I have my breasts on display like candy on a shelf. I could be wearing a turtle-neck... an over-sized sweater... a colored shirt... or a deep-v. I think boobs are boobs to men, whether they're covered up in a baggy sweatshirt or displayed in a bra.

The other day at work, I was having a conversation with one of our partners regarding a potential client. This man is known for liking the "young ones" and thinking his face is better looking than the Porshe Cayenne he drives.

"Oh hi, Meguire (REM). Did you happen to call (REM) that client to follow up with (REM) that proposal we sent (REM) over last week? We'd really like to get them... they'd be a great (REM) client."

Part of me wants to drop my left shoulder so that it's parallel to my hip and say, "Hi. This is what my eyes look like. They're brown. See?"

But if I did that, he'd probably just check out my ass as I bent over.

It's pretty funny. Because I don't even know if he's aware that he's doing it... but I certainly am.

Maybe I should glance down at his crotch every few seconds and see if he notices? When confronted about it, I'll just say, "Oh my gosh! Really? I had nooo idea I was looking at your penis every few seconds during conversation?! HA! Isn't that weird?"