The Proof

I’m hoping that you gathered from my last post that I burnt my arm on the oven.

I was making biscuits (for myself) for strawberry shortcake. When I went to pull them from the oven, I opened the oven door with my right hand, reached in with my right hand, and that’s when the oven started to close to my right arm.

The biscuits bake at 450 degrees.

So, today marks Day Three of walking around with an ACE BANDAGE on my right arm. Seriously. An ace bandage. I don’t think I’ve worn one of these since I was 11 and thought it was cool to “have” a sprained ankle.

The following is a timeline signposting the life of my burn:

Monday
9:00 PM: Burnt my arm.
10:30 PM: called my friend Rebekah (who is a nurse) to see if I should go to the doctor. She said I could wait until the following day, but that, yes, I definitely needed to go.
11:00 PM: Try to fall asleep with a seeping, oozing, throbbing arm. In my state of concern, I LEGITIMATELY thought I saw a man standing in the corner of my apartment. This made me panic – my blood pressure raises – and I can feel my heartbeat in the open sore on my arm.
11:03 PM: Work up enough courage to sit up in my bed and confront “the man” (with my massive Mag Light within an arm’s reach so I could clock him upside the head if necessary) only to find out it was the two lights that hang above my TV coupled with an awkward shadow from my usually-closed-but-open-at-the-time curtains. Phew.)
11:04 PM: Closed my curtains.

Tuesday
7:00 AM: Wake up and immediately check out the damage: the sore is greyer, redder, and pussier. Ew.
7:15 AM: Skip the usual morning shower for fear of getting the burn wet.
8:30 AM: Call the doctor’s office and make an appointment with Dr. Freidman.
11:10 AM: Sitting in a exam room when Dr. Freidman walks in, looks at my burn, scrunches up his nose, flattens his lower lip against his face to bear his teeth, and says, “Ooough. That’s not good. When was your last tetanus?”

*Note: I have NO IDEA when my tetanus was. I’m 23 (almost 24). I’m guessing my last tetanus was before high school, but I suggested to the doctor that I COULD CALL MY MOM to check.

11:15 AM: Dr. Freidman slops… and I mean ssslllloooppps some white cream (antibiotic?) on my burn, covers it w/ one of those medical pads, tapes the pad to my arm and proceeds to WRAP MY ARM IN AN ACE BANDAGE.
11:20 AM: Dr. Freidman loads me up with bandages and medical tape (which made my $15 co-pay seem worth it) and tells me to stay put because the nurse is going to come back and give me a tetanus.
11:22 AM: The nurse comes in, prepares the shot and says, “Okay, so you’re arm is really going to hurt tomorrow. And probably for a few days after that.” And honestly, I don’t mind shots, and I can’t remember the last time I had a tetanus so obviously I can’t remember if it hurt or not, so I’m thinking, “Yeah lady. Okay. Whatever. I’m pretty tough.”
11:25 AM: Leave the doctor’s office with a bandaged arm, extra bandages for later, and the most recent copy of “Food and Wine” magazine. Booyah.

Wednesday
7:00 AM: Wake up to two burst blisters, dead skin hanging from my arm, and a THROBBING left shoulder (from the tetanus).
7:01 AM: Pull off the dead skin… which was like pulling chewed gum off your shoe.
7:10 AM: SARAN WRAP my arm so I can take a shower.

*Note: Please just picture trying to SARAN WRAP YOUR OWN ARM. It’s not that easy. And it’s a strange feeling: butcher shop slash surgeon slash WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE ALONE?

And I’ll spare you from the rest of this timeline and just add that it is quite difficult to shampoo hair with one arm. I’ll also say that it’s fairly common for the white bandage covering my burn to turn a NASTY shade of yellow around the 3:00 PM hour. Yum. And finally, my left shoulder STILL HURTS. My burn doesn’t hurt anymore, but that damn tetanus does.

And just in case you don’t believe me, here are some photos for your pleasure:



It doesn't look that bad in this photo... but I assure you. It is not pretty.









Now you might not be able to see it because it's camouflage, but there is a band aide on my arm that is covering the injection of the tetanus shot. Please excuse my six chins.